o tempo passa e a gente cresce

dia sixteen of Março

Bom dia princesa!

Recently I was reminded of how Mari is still in Mariana, she’s there. Growing at her own pace, holding her own blanket laced with my mother perfume. She finds no greater company than this smell, besides her mother of course.

As we grow, we begin to develop out of the fusion between us and our mothers. Winnicott said that as vulnerable babies, we should have mothers with full disposition to take care of us, and of course their partner to take care of them. She’s there to build us to the point where we no longer have a crushing dependancy on her. To the point of where we only have the reminiscent smell, color, or sound that gives us that comfort that she once provided.

Humans develop from babies to elders with these memories. These memories attach us to Transitional Objects, objects that aid in making separation anxiety more tolerable. Sometimes I catch myself feeling at loss in living without family, but I’ve found that music can bring calm just as much.

I think we often look at each other with rough eyes, recognising us as full-grown adults. Seeing the face without recognising the story. No reminisce of Gi in Giovana, Bibi in Bianca, Juju in Julia, of Rafa in Rafael, Fló in Flora, Lele in Helena, Quel in Raquel, Carol in Carolina, Vivi in Victoria, Lu in Lúcia. I feel if we all recognised people as ‘ever-evolving’ entities that also needed some form of support, we’d see a difference in how we interact with one another. Better recognising others with love and as humans.

Now that I’m old enough to have old friends, when I meet them I am often reminded of their humanity. I notice their smile or their silly thoughts, the same ones that made us giggle when were little. This suddenly shows me their authenticity, their love, their kindness. It equally shows me their humanity, and with that, their necessity of support.

Recognising that we’re due to experience the same scary things and due to frequently use transitional objects (almost daily) emphasises the care little us still needs. Along with the support we owe to one another.

um beijo diva,

Mari